Tuesday, February 1, 2011

I Wish I Was Gay

It would be really sweet if I was gay. I have gone over it in my head time and time again, and the pros seem to outweigh the cons. I will draw it out for you:

-Don't need to deal with stupid fucking women
-Bromances have yet to let me down
-No babies
-Talk with an adorable inflection / lisp (Or have an excuse for my awful voice)
-Make a lot of female friends and help them try on bras like in those movies...although I guess if I was gay I wouldn't really find that as exciting...SHUT UP, it's a perk okay
-Become a master at interior design
-Become a master at cooking (I imagine these 2 to be genetically inherited gay traits)
-Be able to F-block in public and have it be acceptable
-All the cool kids are doing it
-Sweet annual parade
-Excuse to not go to the South
-I use the word 'faggot' very liberally. Now this would become more acceptable.

-Being railed in the pooper
-Being associated with Ellen DeGeneres

If gay was a choice, the winner is pretty obvious, 12 to 2? Not even close, and I was probably missing some Pros. Take that, procreation.


  1. Just say your bi, and never get with a guy.

  2. hm....annual parade...excuse to use the word "faggot" as much as you want...being railed in the ass?

    what a small price to pay

  3. I don't know if I'd waste one of my three standard genie wishes on this...

  4. Lol. I have to say. in this particular post, you make being a homosexual seem more like a Trait in an RPG than anything else. Very interesting read.

  5. I'm gay and I say "faggot" all time. I don't really mean it, but... It's too fun to say!

    Being associated with DeGeneres IS a huge downside though. Ugh.

  6. You forgot the constant hatred and discrimination in the cons section.

  7. Well... this is quite the interesting blog. However, even though women are insane, I think constantly being treated differently because your orientation is much harder to cope with.

  8. It's not that great being gay, atleast not when you're younger. People always assume your straight when you don't give your sexual preference and shove this straight agenda down your throat as if you should feel bad about being gay. Not only that but you have to worry about how others will perceive you if you ever come out. I lost some acquantinces when I came out in my senior year of highschool, and peopled sometimes teased me but it was all in good fun.

    It really sucks, but I guess everything gets better.

    Damn this was a rather lengthy post.

  9. Hahaha, interior designer is def. true!!

  10. I'm sure you're missing out a few cons there, bro!
    Haha. But it's ultimately your choice, really.

  11. I am very aware that those are not the only 2 cons. I think you'll find a lot of my posts riddled with sarcasm. That was half of the "joke" of this article.

  12. Hell, I would be ecstatic if I didn't have to put up with HALF of the shit that girls do.

    But getting railed by a dude? Not my cup of tea.

  13. Hilarious. The pros were great lol.

  14. Gay men are worse than women, apparently.
    Plus if you're gay that puts you out of the bromance pool.

    But I lol'd
    Thanks for posting :)

  15. kinda gay. might want to read my post on homosex.
    I will follow daily.
    Please return the favor.

  16. you don't have to get pounded. I'm just not into it myself =( I got this gay buddy that literally carries his boyfriends financially and spoils them rotten. WHO WANTS PRESENTS?? But at the price? not me

    followed supported

  17. Yeah! Fuck women! Not literally in this sense.

  18. Hahaha, sometimes I hate women. But I don't think I could like men.

  19. Never even try to be gay!